Quotation 5 - Deborah Tannen

“The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation -- or a relationship.” - Deborah Tannen


One thing that I have learned in life is that everyone is an individual and we all have our own unique methods in life. Whether that is in regards to communication, eating, and dressing. or relationships with other is trivial. The important part is that we are all individuals and need to be treated as such. There is no one right or wrong method – it’s just our method.

By learning to adjust our listening skills to adapt to different methods of talking and conversation we should be able to carry on deep and meaningful conversations with anyone. The biggest concern with communication is that listening is a skill that needs to be practiced if it is going to be done effectively. By honing our listening skills we will be able to have a meaningful conversation that engages all parties, with everyone feeling satisfied.
Relationships are built on conversation skills and therefore the best ones tend to be those with whom we have the least difficulty in having a meaningful conversation with. I think that this is how we subconsciously choose our friends and mates.
Tannen statement is correct in that it would be a mistake to assume that there is only one correct method of conversation. I believe that as individuals we all have several different methods that we use to communicate, and we choose which method to use based on the circumstances that we are conversing in.