Source Evaluation - Timothy F. Dowty-

Solution 2 – Timothy F. Dowty, M.A., MFT

Dr Dowty is a marriage therapist in Nevada. He has been in private practice since 1993 and has a bachelors degree in Behavioral Science and a masters in Counseling and Psychology. He works extensively with couples to help overcome their communication issues to avoid divorce and have healthier relationships.
First and foremost he believes that you must stop arguing with your spouse. He states “refuse to!” When you’re in a discussion with your partner and you become aware of a conflict starting, stop the conversation and let them know that you feel like an argument is starting and that you do not wish to do that. Then ask your partner if you need to wait for a better time to have the conversation, or do we take a minute to calm down and continue?’
With that being said the next step is to listen to your partner. It is crucial to better communication for both partners to listen to the other and give them a chance to voice their opinion. Once both partners have been listened to, it is time to focus on a creative solution. By discussing the options available the couple is essentially developing communication skills that help them to better understand one another.
I believe that Dr. Dowty has some substantial points. By not allowing a conversation to escalate to an argument the couple will already prevent the “tune out” problem that occurs from elevated tempers. He also states that couples need to listen to one another, which does encourage understanding as listening encourages questioning, and also leads to better communication!