Source Evaluation - Dr. Rick Kirschner

Solution 1 – Dr. Rick Kirschner
Dr. Rick Kirschner, an adjunct faculty member of Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine specializes in working with individuals and groups to bring about positive changes in communication in individual relationships and team building skills for corporations. With over twenty years of experience he has developed a list of skills that he helps couples develop to overcome cross gender obstacles with communication.
His ideas to improve communication between the genders begins with 4 simple skills.
1. Start with useful assumptions - Dr. Kirschner states that a “useful assumption is something that gives you enough informed perspective that when you base your behavior on it, it takes you somewhere that you want to go.”
2. Build trust - To build trust, it has to be earned. Kirschner believes that trust is earned by “meeting people where they are at, taking an interest in what they mean by what they say, seeking to understand, and speaking authentically along the way.”
3. Resolve conflict creatively - “Nobody cooperates with someone who seems to be against them.” Basically if your partner feels that you are against them then they will turn off at an emotional unconscious level. Creative conflict is about being open to each others opinions and creating mutually satisfying solutions to problems.
4. Use persuasion to win hearts, hands, and minds – “ To be persuasive, you must understand the motivations, needs and beliefs of another person, and then speak to those needs and engage those motivations in a non-threatening manner.” (Dr. Kirschner)
Dr. Kirschner uses these methods to help men and women develop communication that will encourage healthy relationships. I think that many of these principles of conversation are already in place between myself and my spouse, with limited success. Most of the time I find that my assumptions are not useful and tend to lead me in the wrong direction. The trust is in place, as we have been married for thirteen years and no relationship can survive that long without trust. Many of our conflicts are solved creatively using persuasion to try and convince the other that our thoughts are the best! My husband and I typically end up compromising and coming up with a reasonable solution.